I remember.

I remember that feeling of wasted time.
I remember that feeling of hopelessness
I remember feeling,
hearing
seeing
smelling
tasting
my heart break.
Everything, gone. In an instant, gone.

All of my hopes and dreams, my aspirations, my hard work crashed on my heart.
I broke.
I broke down and cried.
I broke away and hid.
I was down to something, someone, I did not want to be stripped down to . . .myself.

Scared, alone, and regretful.

It was in that time, I lived.
Not just survived, I thrived!

I didn't "pick up the pieces."
I didn't "get back on the horse."

I just lived.

I loved, I hated, I dared, I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted.

In the moment when I was being most me, and only me, I found me.
Only this was really the me I had never seen, whole, unbroken, happy.
One whole human.

I thought was too good to be true.
I still do, and always will.

He is more than I could ever have dreamed.